After returning from my 2014-2016 SEO tour in Guangzhou, China, I get stuck back in Washington, D.C. for various reasons. I decide to reapply to the CIA for one last shot at being a technical spy. In mid-December I get a couple of missed blocked phone calls. I check my voicemail and guess who it is…the CIA Recruitment Center. They want me for a Technical Operations position, which is my dream job. It is still nice to know I sparked their interest again. They send me an online assessment to take on December 16th, which contains the Hogan Personality Assessment and an IQ test. Then I get a follow up email saying I won’t see my results and that they will note my holiday travel so they probably won’t contact me again until January, if ever.
I return from my holiday vacation in Miami and the Dominican Republic feeling good. I decide to call the CIA myself to check on my status, since I am returning from an overseas trip and all. My recruiter says right there that they want to interview me! That same day I get the first of a few logistical emails from the CIA for the interview and info session. Great, here I go again! I’m told I’ll be interviewing with the Office of Technical Collections and they do SIGINT, but I never get any more detail than that. In fact, the other recruiters won’t confirm or repeat this.
The interview takes place on January 25th at the same Dulles Discovery Building. The CIA seem to be trying harder to hide the fact that this is their building by giving us more strict security advice than last time. The place is just like I remember. This time, my interview comes with an info session and security brief, and the others (maybe 30 of us total), were all Directorate of Science and Technology recruits.
I learn that if I marry or get engaged to a foreign woman, she must agree to be naturalized and take a polygraph of her own! Of course, I’m sure marrying a Chinese woman is a big no-no, but they didn’t say that. I have a Chinese girlfriend from my Guangzhou tour, but already turned in a Foreign Contact Report form for her as required. If I get another CIA COE, it can take 12 months before I EOD, my previous clearances mean nothing to CIA. One of the presenters said that even with his NSA clearance, it took 1.5 years to hire him. They say the biggest reason for espionage against the U.S. is financial reasons. Dual citizens can also be hired, as long as #1 loyalty is to the U.S., however I never met a dual-citizen CIA employee. I suspect the CIA will make you renounce your other citizenship after you are hired. They tell us we have to fill out the 2008 version of the SF-86 form by hand, not to take drugs or be hungover on the polygraph, and lie to us saying the polygraph compensates for nervousness. We learn that CIA Technical Intelligence Officers are Intelligence Officers first. Then they go over the different DS&T jobs shown on the website, nothing new there. As I depart Dulles Discovery for the 5th time (the one day interview in 2010 followed later by three additional days of security processing), I learn that since I am a local hire, there is no travel reimbursement. I will be paying for my Zipcar out of my own pocket. Typical government bullshit.
I get an email on February 8th asking for my recent job pay stubs. They have not said that I will get the COE yet, but I take this as a good sign. On March 13th 2017 I send an email to my recruiters inquiring about my status. I get an email response almost immediately saying I have been rejected. That’s it. I’ve been rejected again. I’m done with these people. I will spend my time at “work” now looking for other jobs, In the meantime, since I have nothing to do at work in D.C. I will also work on my Doctorate of Business Administration degree online. At least I’ll be productive.
Sometime between March and April 2017 I decide to call the CIA to see if I can get any info about why I was rejected. Turns out the DS&T Office that interviewed me wanted to hire me for the Technical Operations Officer position, which is why they requested by paystub. However, the Security office stepped in and put a halt to me getting a COE. I found out that my file was flagged because of my botched polygraphs 7 years ago! That’s right, 7 years ago! Normally the CIA lets you reapply within a year, but I guess for me even waiting 7 years was a no go. I have been blacklisted. If I try to reapply, they will just axe my application again because of this permanent mark. FACT: IF YOU EVER FAIL A POLYGRAPH OR BACKGROUND INVESTIGATION (BI) FOR A GOVERNMENT AGENCY, THEY WILL NEVER HIRE YOU AGAIN! FUCK WHATEVER ELSE THEY TELL YOU.
In the last few months I also reapplied to be an FBI Special Agent, for no reason other than I had nothing better to do at work. I was told back in 2010 that passing FBI Phase 1 and Phase 2 is good for life, so I assume I could just restart at the BI phase if the FBI still wants me. On May 16, 2017, I get an email saying that I cannot be an FBI Special Agent because I previously failed the BI 6 years ago. What a load of shit. As I previously said, when you fail a polygraph or a BI for an agency once, you are banned for life. The FBI will never let me work there again because of a failed BI. Done.